And So It Ends

The end of the lane  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In just a few weeks, this blog will be five years old. It has been an amazing five years, during which my life has gone through huge changes. I have chronicled them here.

And now I'm done.

This blog has been an outlet for my fears, a creative challenge, a place to be accountable and, most of the time, a place to simply share what has been happening. Lately, though, it's just been an drain - something I feel I should work on without the inspiration to do so. Where I used to find joy, I now just find a chore.

So I'm letting it go.

It came to me early this morning that I am no longer the True North Yogini. That was who I had been reinventing myself as when I was leaving behind the corporate world and creating a yoga studio in the middle of nowhere. I've reinvented myself quite a few times during my forty-plus years on this earth, so I know what it looks like.

If necessity is the mother of invention, who is the mother of reinvention?

I pondered that as I considered why these all-too-frequent reinventions felt so good for awhile but always brought me back to the same place of feeling like there was something missing. Am I straying too far from who I really am? Do I lack the talent/skill/drive to succeed in these various personas? Am I, in fact, too lazy/unfocused/noncommittal to put all my energy into making something great?

Is boredom the mother of reinvention?

I still love to teach yoga. I can't envision a life where I'm not teaching yoga. But I don't want to write about it anymore. And I don't want to be just a yoga teacher. I don't even want to be just a yoga teacher, yoga studio owner, runner, triathlete, hiker, knitter, baker, crunchy tree-hugger and homeschooling Adirondack mountain mom.

My creative spirit has wanderlust.

I've decided, Dear Reader, to let this blog go and give myself permission to explore new creative outlets. Thank you for five years of support and community. Thank you for the comments and the likes and for just stopping by now and then to be part of my world. Perhaps our paths will cross again.

And so it ends with my word for 2014:

Freedom

Insanity kicked my asana

Four weeks ago I started the Insanity workouts. During those four weeks I never missed a workout, and followed the six-day-a-week workout calendar exactly. I'll be taking my measurements next week, at the end of "recovery week" (also known as "the week in which the daily workout makes my thighs long for the good old cardio recovery days"), but I am starting to notice the changes in my body.

I have to confess that I haven't kept up my yoga practice during the last month. With a 30-40 minute workout to squeeze in, my mornings are pretty tight. I take a class when I can, but my meditative morning practice has been replaced with lots of jumping around. I was feeling a bit guilty about that, until I made an interesting discovery:

Insanity pushed my asana practice up a notch.

Shaun T is pretty serious about stretching, so I'm not surprised that, after four weeks of daily hamstring stretches, I'm more open than I was. The Insanity workouts are also very core-focused, so, despite the lack of an obvious six-pack, I might be stronger after the first month. It turns out the two ganged up on me.

Navasana is an excellent core-strengthening pose, and I can hold it comfortably as long as I keep my knees bent. My hamstrings are too tight to achieve the straight-legged version, and I never even imagined experiencing the beautiful variation where you draw your legs and upper body closer together. It turns out I might have been a bit hasty in accepting my limitations.

Last Saturday I spent a couple of hours bellydancing with some ladies from the yoga studio. Later that evening I unrolled my mat to stretch a bit. I don't know why I thought to try it, but I ended up here:

This picture was taken today, which means I can still do it, two days later. It wasn't just one of those freak yoga things.

Thank you, Shaun T, for the yoga breakthrough. I'll forgive you for all those mornings when your workouts kicked my asana.

What does Insanity look like?

Insanity looks like this...

It's day 24 and I haven't missed a workout. Yesterday I made it all the way through the Cardio Power and Resistance workout. Well, there was that brief rest when my butt hit the floor during triceps dips and stayed there for 20 seconds. But I got going again. And my push-ups are slower than Shaun T's. I'd play the girl card, but Tanya is on the video putting the rest of my gender to shame.

Next week is "recovery week." I'm kind of excited to hit that milestone, but, if the workouts are anything like like the current Cardio Recovery workout, I'm not sure I'm going to have a fun week. My thighs are getting very worried.