Love, Hope and Warm Loneliness #BostonMarathon

I hold my face in my two hands.  
No, I am not crying.
I hold my face in my two hands  
to keep the loneliness warm -  
two hands protecting,  
two hands nourishing,  
two hands preventing
my soul from leaving me  
in anger.

Thich Nhat Hanh



On Saturday I went to a kirtan festival which, despite an underlying sadness after the loss of Shyamdas in January, was incredibly uplifting. My heart was open with joy and love. I was on a blissed-out Bhakti high. I was going to write all about it.

Nope. Four months ago my planned post was preempted by senseless tragedy. And here I am again.

The Boston Marathon began this morning just as I started teaching a yoga class. It ended abruptly minutes after I finished my last class for the day. Since my own marathon training begins in a few weeks, I was eager for race updates and, therefore, I got news of the bombings almost instantly.

I wasn't there. What I knew of people who were there came from 140-character snippets. But this felt personal. I was angry, I was sad, and I couldn't believe this had happened during the sanctity of the Boston Marathon.

Amateur runners and triathletes make up a diverse but incredibly benevolent clan. Immediately my twitter and Facebook feeds were overrun with people who felt just like I did. While the citizens of Boston took care of the runners and each other, the rest of the running community banded together in cyberspace.

As news reached me I saw, despite underlying sadness, an amazing outpouring of love. I watched footage of acts of bravery and kindness. I heard reports of people opening their homes to runners who could no longer get to their hotels, offering food, bathrooms and even lodging. I read that some runners who had finished the race went to the nearest hospital to donate blood. And those I follow retweeted and shared important information as well as countless "I'm ok" messages. I am again uplifted.

My heart is open with love and the joy of being part of humanity. In the banding together after tragedy I see the hints of the awakening we were promised at the end of 2012. There is suffering and horror but there is also compassion and hope.

I am still sad, but not angry. And I am no longer afraid. And until the day we realize we are all one, I'll keep the loneliness warm.

December 17 - Bhakti (Devotion)

Image by Mat McDermott via Flickr

What did you devote yourself to in 2011? How will you devote your energy in the coming year?

Oh, Michelle at Yoga Freedom used on of my favorite yoga words! Some Sanskrit words feel good in my mouth. My students will tell you I teach the half moon balance just because I like to say "Ardha Chandrasana." "Bhakti" is another word I like to say. I like it even better when Jai Uttal says it when he's leading kirtan. It's a feel-good word.

This year I devoted myself to my new yoga studio. I poured energy into bringing yoga to an expanding group of students in comfortable, sacred space. I tried to work in devotion to my family, friends, volunteer work and home, but I know the studio got most of my attention in 2011.

I've already given a good deal of thought to the coming year. The yoga studio will continue to be a priority, as will incorporating my new personal training business into the studio's services. But I am striving for a better balance in 2012. I've spent time with my schedule to make sure I have time to spend with my family. Giving back to the community which supports my business is important, so in addition to the work I do for the Schroon Lake Association, I've signed on as a volunteer with the Red Cross and will be training to respond to disasters.

My half-ironman distance triathlon goal has already been mentioned in an earlier post. I've picked a race in early September and set up my training plan. I plan on devoting a good deal of energy to making my body as healthy and strong as it can be. When I turn 45 later this year (on the day of the Adirondack Distance Festival Half-Marathon, coincidentally) I want to be in better physical shape than I've ever been.

Mid-life crisis? Maybe. But it's healthier (and less expensive) than remaking myself at the mall.

And I think I'll say "Bhakti" lots and lots in 2012. Try it. I bet you can't say it without smiling.