Friday, December 13, 2013

And So It Ends

English: The other end of the lane The green l...
The end of the lane  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In just a few weeks, this blog will be five years old. It has been an amazing five years, during which my life has gone through huge changes. I have chronicled them here.

And now I'm done.

This blog has been an outlet for my fears, a creative challenge, a place to be accountable and, most of the time, a place to simply share what has been happening. Lately, though, it's just been an drain - something I feel I should work on without the inspiration to do so. Where I used to find joy, I now just find a chore.

So I'm letting it go.

It came to me early this morning that I am no longer the True North Yogini. That was who I had been reinventing myself as when I was leaving behind the corporate world and creating a yoga studio in the middle of nowhere. I've reinvented myself quite a few times during my forty-plus years on this earth, so I know what it looks like.

If necessity is the mother of invention, who is the mother of reinvention?

I pondered that as I considered why these all-too-frequent reinventions felt so good for awhile but always brought me back to the same place of feeling like there was something missing. Am I straying too far from who I really am? Do I lack the talent/skill/drive to succeed in these various personas? Am I, in fact, too lazy/unfocused/noncommittal to put all my energy into making something great?

Is boredom the mother of reinvention?

I still love to teach yoga. I can't envision a life where I'm not teaching yoga. But I don't want to write about it anymore. And I don't want to be just a yoga teacher. I don't even want to be just a yoga teacher, yoga studio owner, runner, triathlete, hiker, knitter, baker, crunchy tree-hugger and homeschooling Adirondack mountain mom.

My creative spirit has wanderlust.

I've decided, Dear Reader, to let this blog go and give myself permission to explore new creative outlets. Thank you for five years of support and community. Thank you for the comments and the likes and for just stopping by now and then to be part of my world. Perhaps our paths will cross again.

And so it ends with my word for 2014:

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