The first time you try yoga, it will most likely feel very awkward. Just standing with bare feet on a sticky mat feels weird. Getting your body into the same shape as the instructor's will seem impossible. You might feel uncoordinated, unbalanced, ungraceful and totally inflexible. The next day, you might be sore in places you didn't know you had muscles. And, if you can't set all those feelings aside, you might never try yoga again. Yoga is not an instant cure-all. A yoga practice can make your body stronger, more flexible and healthier, but it won't happen over night. One time is never enough. The only way yoga can work is if you keep practicing.
The trick is to get through that first class without letting your critical ego get in the way. Your body is going to think yoga is great and it wants to do more. The muscles, although they might be sore, will have really enjoyed the stretching. It's your mind that will shut down your desire for more yoga. Your mind likes to carry on about anything it can, so it will chatter away, telling you that you didn't look good in the poses, that you aren't flexible enough to do these kinds of things, that you need to lose 25 pounds before you try again.
The problem with the mind is that it always wants to be the center of attention. It looks for things to think about so it never has to be quiet. Yoga takes your attention away from the mind and directs it to the body. The mind fights back by dragging you outside yourself. It worries about what other people think and tries to convince you it knows what's going on in other people's heads. Once it does, you feel self-conscious and inadequate, because you can never live up to the expectations you have imagined other people have for you.
The truth is nobody else in your yoga class, besides the teacher whose job it is to make sure you are doing the poses safely, cares what you look like on your mat. Other beginners are suffering the same insecurities you are, and more experienced practitioners are usually thrilled when someone new tries this yoga thing that they love. Once the class is underway, all those with experience are focusing on their own bodies and probably won't even look at you. Many go through their practice with their eyes closed. They are not watching you to see if you mess up.
While laughter is certainly not off-limits in yoga class, and is, in fact, a welcome release when the class is getting too intense, nobody will laugh at you for being a beginner. Yoga students sometimes laugh at themselves when they struggle to balance in tree pose or mess up their rights and lefts and end up facing the wrong way. Laughter is a wonderful, heart-opening practice when it comes from love and camaraderie. Yoga students may laugh together, but they don't laugh at each other, despite what your ego may tell you.
Practicing yoga is also an exercise in humility. Unlike sports, you are not going to get much recognition for doing yoga, no matter how well you do it. You can practice yoga for 20 years and you will never get a trophy, or even a ribbon. You are unlikely to have your journey to yoga greatness documented by a gaggle of photographers. On your mat, it's just you against......you. Nobody wins. No sports page coverage.
Putting all the ego stuff aside is what makes yoga different than just stretching and, in the end, is what brings people back to the mat. When you learn to ignore all the stuff the mind is going on about, it shuts up. You get to have a few moments of quiet and you discover what yoga really is.
Yogascittavrittinirodhah
Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence.
That's what it comes down to. The whole time you're on your mat, struggling awkwardly into poses, fighting off critical thoughts - while toning and strengthening your body so you look better in your yoga pants, of course - all you're trying to do is have a moment of silence.
Once you discover the silence, you'll keep coming back to your mat. The next time you practice, you can be pretty sure you'll be right back to struggling with your ego, trying to find the silence again. But the poses will probably feel a little less awkward. You will probably be a bit more balanced. You will probably act more coordinated. You will probably move with grace. And you may discover that you are more flexible than you thought.
All because you didn't let the first class be the last class.
"... all you're trying to do is have a moment of silence." Yes - oh, yes. I started yoga only a very short time ago - and joined a class for those with physical limitations. My limitation, I felt, was my weight. But with the gentle guidance of our teacher I'm seeing a little past the limitation. Silence? - I'm assured it will come.
ReplyDeleteI only just began yoga this week, and this so resonates with my experience. My first yoga session was on Tuesday and I fell over - lots. My fifth yoga session was this morning, and I'm pleased to say that I got through it without falling once!
ReplyDeleteI am, however, doing my yoga at home. My choice not to go to a class stems partly from childcare difficulties, and partly from the embarrassment you write of here. I find it so difficult to do any form of exercise in front of anyone. Even my family is banned from coming into the room when I'm exercising!
But I love the idea of being in a class and finding that sense of connection and community. After reading your post this morning, I may just give it a go...
Thank you so much for sharing this :-)
Amy
xx
Great post! Do you mind if I link to it on my blog? I've brought a couple of newbies into the studio and one of the things they always talk about is 'everyone will look at me'....it's been a while since I was a newbie, but I remember feeling that way too. Your post holds the truth, though: no one is looking at you- we're all busy at our own practice no matter the skill level.
ReplyDeleteI come back to the mat again and again because it's the one spot where I can be completely in the moment. In the best classes, my experience has been that I'm so focused (without focusing...does that make sense?) that my mind falls quiet and I'm just *there*. The physical benefits are great, too, but having the quiet mind is amazing....